I thought...
Monday, 7 June 2010 1:51 pm
Capture it, Remember it.
that I've recovered from whatever has happened.
that I was ready to move on.
but it's so hard when you have to face it everyday.
and they still give you the same treatment each time.
I don't know what I've done.
No one wants to tell me.
Everyone's afraid of my little brittle heart.
So much so that they completely leave me out.
I thought you were for real.
I thought you would always be there for me.
I thought a made the right choice; calling you a 'FRIEND'.
But you ain't got the slightest clue what ACTUAL friends are.
I thought I'd go on and talk about all the things you have done to me.
But then again,
I think that you wouldn't even for a second CONSIDER that it is YOU that I'm talking about.
BUT.
Maybe, just maybe.
All these thoughts are just in my head.
Hello people of the world.
I call everyone I know FRIENDS but I do not think all of them know that with the title comes... I can't find the right word. I don't want my friends to think that they have to work to be a pal but I don't want them to treat me like back-up either. I don't do that to anyone, now do I? Once, you've got no one, you find me. I'm your last resort. You act all innocent and know that I won't say no. Well, not anymore. I've finally seen through you. Listen up and listen good. Think back to ho wmany times you've left me alone or seen me alone and didn't care. How many times did you ask me "Are you okay?" when I was smiling through the pain. I'm not good at acting so it's either 1. You are damn gulible. 2. You don't know how to appreciate art and have no idea what ACTING is. or 3. You've been acting too. Acting that you don't know me. You know what? I can't believe you actually have friends. I've been blog hopping and went to links, not intentionally but i realised something. People put little hearts or give you nicknames beside your link. I don't get it. It's like everyone else hasn't seen through your facade. It's like only I have. What are the odds of everyone else not seeing that you're a TOTAL FAKE. Faking friendship won't get you anywhere. I treat everyone equally but you, you didn't treat me right. If you think that I never gave you a chance to tell your side of the story or whatever, I SO FREAKIN' DID. I went up to you, you didn't care. If you don't recall, it's SO OBVIOUS you ARE ignoring me. That YOU ARE the one I'm talking about. I wonder why you still have a clique. Your friends are WAAAY better off without you, you know? It's not that I want you to have no friends. It's just, you've hurt me so many times. HOW CAN YOU STILL CALL YOURSELF A FRIEND OF MINE!? I've had enough of you. I want to say Goodbye to you FOREVER but I'd still have to see your face daily and that would just scar me even more...
You're probably even thinking I wrote this to gain pity from my real FRIENDS. You're SO wrong. I don't need anyone's pity. I just need YOU to be my friend again. Even if it's fake, keep it that way. I miss you as my friend. But I know I can't change you. So... nice knowing you.
The above is dedicated to a certain group of people. They've treated me so super badly when I did absolutely nothing to them but I still have to put up with them. They make me want to give up but I'm not going to. It's not worth it. I've worked to hard. Thank you. For pushing me so hard to beat you but compared to all of you people's years of experience, I'll never be able to. So, why bother right? I miss my actual friends more than ever now.
Yeah, the holidays are getting to me. I'm turning into a freakin' emo chic. Look at me. I just typed a whole chunk of stuff but none of you understand. :/
Looks like my actual friends are Mr.Ink and Mr.Paper after all. Even after telling them about everything, they crumple up and throw themselves away. They are more able to express my feelings as in this little box I'm typing in, I only have bold,strong,italic,underline and
Thank you Mr.Ink and Mr.Paper.
I had this funny thought last night. I was thinking of saving the environment and all, yeah, I think about Saving GAIA before I go to bed, and I thought of stop cutting down trees and doing our homework on chickens instead. We'd do our homework on the chicken and make the chicken walk to school and our teachers would mark the chicken!
Yeah, I like my creativity too. This is when you go:(Y) :D
I just read a chain-mail.
"Do not stop reading til you reach the end or you'll have a horrible death."
The first thought in my head was that 'I don't mind' and closed the mail.
There's two sides to that. Take it literally or not. It's really up to you.
Here I end my message from my little, brittle heart. From(L)to(U). Get it?