Can we pretend that AIRPLANES in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now.
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I've just spent around 50min writing out the 2 BIGGEST things that have been bugging me a lot lately. Both of them started when I came into secondary school. WHY.!? Now, all I can do is stare at the pencil scribble which filled a page of my notebook and wonder if they will ever go away. WHY do I even pretend to be so excited in school when all I do will never amount to anything? Other people have SO much more potential. I'm not important. I never was. Burden to the people around me. Never does anything right. Why am I still alive? I should just die now and everyone would be happier. If people are going "aww..." right now. I know it's just pretend. EVERYTHING I KNOW IS JUST PRETENCE. F-A-K-E. All those smiles I see. They're actually just hiding something. They don't actually care! They just want to get what they want and leave me alone. No one cares. So why should I care? Just so I can see myself fall again? Just so people can laugh at me? Just imagine... If I had no friends and just sat alone in a corner all the time. Everone else's lives would be SO MUCH BETTER! They have one less person to care about. LESS STRESS!!! Who wouldn't want that!? If my brother was an only child, my parents would have never needed to spend money on me. They wouldn't have to move house. My brother would have a huge room to himself and the other room would be for study. He would be pampered. Living the easy life. Doesn't it all sound so nice now? All these will only happen when I'm gone. No more me in this world. I wouldn't make any difference anyway. People always ask "What do you want to be when you grow up?" "What do you want to achieve in life?"... I always have nothing to say. I HAVE NO TALENTS. Even if I ended up on the streets, it would shun me too. I'm good for nothing. I shouldn't be able to see as all I ever do is stone. I shouldn't be able to smell as I don't notice smells. I shouldn't be able to talk as all I ever say is nonsense. I shouldn't be able to touch 'cause I'd break it. I shouldn't be able to hear as I dont actually LISTEN. So why am I still here? To entertain? What person will have fun watching me fail? Wait, I'm giving myself too much attention. NO ONE CARES.
foreverandalways
you gotta be true.
refresh my blog for a new quote! :]
2.MAY.96, Taurus.
michie/MC/meechiao/敏儿 NCPS, Media Club, Prefect
1D,2A,3F,4F,5D,6D
NCHS, Chinese Dance, Councillor 1D,2D
♥ a WHITE laptop of my own!
♥ new mp3
♥ new wallet
♥ wide range of art materials. :D
♥ nike water bottle[purple]
♥♥ perfect teeth. :[
♥♥ that cool 2010 diary.
♥♥♥ cool sunglasses. 8D
♥♥♥ new pencil box
♥♥♥ new bag
♥♥♥ digital camera
♥♥♥ converse all star shoes!
♥♥♥♥ complete room makeover[purple walls ;D]
♥♥♥♥ new camera!
♥♥♥♥ more moneh! $.$
♥♥♥♥♥ learn DANCE ![and be good at it :[ ]
♥♥♥♥♥ start SCRAPBOOKING!
I've just spent around 50min writing out the 2 BIGGEST things that have been bugging me a lot lately. Both of them started when I came into secondary school. WHY.!? Now, all I can do is stare at the pencil scribble which filled a page of my notebook and wonder if they will ever go away. WHY do I even pretend to be so excited in school when all I do will never amount to anything? Other people have SO much more potential. I'm not important. I never was. Burden to the people around me. Never does anything right. Why am I still alive? I should just die now and everyone would be happier. If people are going "aww..." right now. I know it's just pretend. EVERYTHING I KNOW IS JUST PRETENCE. F-A-K-E. All those smiles I see. They're actually just hiding something. They don't actually care! They just want to get what they want and leave me alone. No one cares. So why should I care? Just so I can see myself fall again? Just so people can laugh at me? Just imagine... If I had no friends and just sat alone in a corner all the time. Everone else's lives would be SO MUCH BETTER! They have one less person to care about. LESS STRESS!!! Who wouldn't want that!? If my brother was an only child, my parents would have never needed to spend money on me. They wouldn't have to move house. My brother would have a huge room to himself and the other room would be for study. He would be pampered. Living the easy life. Doesn't it all sound so nice now? All these will only happen when I'm gone. No more me in this world. I wouldn't make any difference anyway. People always ask "What do you want to be when you grow up?" "What do you want to achieve in life?"... I always have nothing to say. I HAVE NO TALENTS. Even if I ended up on the streets, it would shun me too. I'm good for nothing. I shouldn't be able to see as all I ever do is stone. I shouldn't be able to smell as I don't notice smells. I shouldn't be able to talk as all I ever say is nonsense. I shouldn't be able to touch 'cause I'd break it. I shouldn't be able to hear as I dont actually LISTEN. So why am I still here? To entertain? What person will have fun watching me fail? Wait, I'm giving myself too much attention. NO ONE CARES.
